Damaged...Broken....but not FORGOTTEN

In my job we use those words alot....damaged....broken....referring to children/teenagers who have been abandoned or abused by those who gave them birth. The more time I spend in the school system I realize that society is raising a whole generation of these kids. Often it makes me feel very sad as we deal on a day to day basis with behavior issues that are a symptom of these children. It also makes me afraid for the future because if our indeavors fail to "fix"these children...they will probably be the adults who commit the crimes of the future.

This week though I learned a very important lesson. I was given a supplemental position for the next few weeks to work with a five year old little boy....who has problems stemming from his first few years. The wheels of the education system move slowly sometimes as they wait for funding to have problem children seen by physcologists to be diagnosed...in the meantime they have to be in school and behaviors have to be dealt with. This little boy has been in kindergarten since september and they have been trying to find a "plan " that will work for him....this is where I come in.

My directions( in a nutshell) were to be in the classroom..prepared to have this child take his five minute time outs as directed by the teacher or to be removed from the classroom and taken to an intervention specialist. If directions were followed there were lots of rewards that I could give but only under the strictest directions.
This boy has no learning disablilites...just the opposite he is very smart probably reading at a 1st or 2nd grade level....but has an inability to focus and refuses to take directions....and may have and oppositonal difiant disorder.......sooo.
The first three days I was there he made it through the first half hour of the day and for the next two hours I would pick him up and carry him to the office probably 6-8 times or more....my forearms and legs were getting really sore as this proved to be quite a workout. and he liked to kick when he was being carried.

After the third day and no improvement I began to wonder what I could do to get him to a point where I could reward him .... I didn't think that if all he was responding to was negative attention that he would ever "get it" I came home that day feeling very heavey and sad for him and perplexed. That night I prayed for him because I knew that Heavenly Father loved this little boy.

The next morning I prayed again not only for him but for me so I could know what to do for him to help him. When I got to school an idea hit me and I approached the intervention specialist with it... I asked if I could use candy or some other small thing to help him take his five min time outs in class so he wouldn't have to go to the office...not all the time because I figured he would purposely be naughty for the teacher to get candy. He had some cards with action figures and star wars figures so he gave me some and I filled my pocket with some skittles and headed down the hallway....with a prayer in my heart.

The day started as usual the first half hour okay....then he was directed to take a time out. He came to the time out chair and sat for a minute or two then started to misbehave and I was going to have to take him out.I reached in my pocket and took out two skittles and said " If you take your time out these are yours" It worked....he completed the five min and got the reward.
Then I showed him the cards and told him if he did his work he could have a card. Well he tried but didn't complete it. but he did take two more five min time out before I had to remove him from the class....without candy. I told him that he would never know when I would pull something out of my pocket so he needed to be good and see what happened.
He still didn't make it to get his stickers or computer time.....but at the end of the day we felt like we had made a few baby steps. I was very thankful in my prayers that night

The next morning I prayed again to know what to do and headed off to school. When I walked in the classroom ....there was a sub!!!! I thought oh no what will this do to him. He came in and looked like he wasn't having a good day and greeted me with " What are YOU doing here again....you should go home!' I said a silent prayer and greeted him with hugs and smiles....
The sub had been there before and he was familiar with him so it was pretty good and we were going to the library first thing.....He was very well behaved there and when we got back to class it was already almost 9: o'clock(school starts at 8) and I rewarded him with a card.We did circle time and although he had to have a five min time out he did it earning two more skittles.
I had to take him to the office once during this time but he went straight to his chair and took his fifteen min time out without incident( he usually hid under the table and had to be held by the specialist) We went back to class and then had to take our recess time in the office....( that was a consequence if he had to go to the office he lost recess time)

We went back to class for snack time and then they had a paper to do....I sat next to him and helped him through it...then he had to draw a picture which he completed... I was estatic and let him pick another card. So by this time we only had three classroom time outs and one office trip....hallelujah! When there was about five min left I could sense he was getting distracted and I really didn't want him to fail for five min...so I cut the day short and told him to get his things ready to go home....He earned his sticker for the last part of the day( one sticker till recess and one sticker till going home) He got to have five min computer time and two chocolates from the behavior para......we couldn't wipe the smile off his face! EVERYONE gave him hi fives and praised him for his success....when he has his computer time the para asked him who he wanted to help him her or me.....HE SAID ME!

While we were waiting for his grandma to pick him up....he kept saying grandma was going to be sooooo happy! When she arrived he could hardly contain himself till she got in the building....then he hugged here and said" Grandma I had a great day!!!!!' I then told her about his successes while he beamed the whole time.....With tears in her eyes she looked at me and thanked me over and over again....As I watched them walk away hand in hand with a skip in his step I felt very thankful.

...........Now if you were to ask the professionals ....they would say the plan is finally working...I have a different feeling about the whole thing....I believe in prayer and I believe that Heavenly Father wants someone to help this little boy and if for now that someone is me.... I gladly take the challenge with His help... I only wish it hadn't taken me three days to figure it out. Once again I learn that we are ALL children of God put here for a purpose and He knows us each and every one. Monday will be a new day and I am not sure what will happen but I know with prayer He will help me know what this little boys needs are...and he is filling my heart with love for this sweet child of God.....

Random Thoughts...

Yesterday my baby turned 24 years old......








Later on this year my first born will be 39 years old.........























And what does that make me???...........OLD! Lately it seems every other day( probably not that often but just seems like it) Alan has been coming home with news of co- workers or friends of co- workers....or random people...not good news but news of massive strokes or heart attacks or being diagnosed with the C word....and they are all people YOUNGER than me....which really has given me food for thought.





This year my eldest daughter is the age I was and I will be the age my mother was when she died........


























THAT REALLY GIVES ME FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!!!


Sometimes I wonder if I have her genetics or the genetics on my fathers side( who died when he was 62) who had aunts who lived into their nineties. I know my lifestyle is very different from my parents who were heavy smokers and drinkers...



My patriarical blessing ( given in my church to all worthy members) tells me that nothing will keep me from fulfilling my lifes mission I was sent here to do....lately I have been thinking just what does that mean and have I done it or is there something I have missed all together.


I have often wished that I was a person who had a great passion for something.....anything? That just doesn't seem to be part of my character. I enjoy many things....but passion....no. I have strong convictions....probably the things I am most passionate about are my family and my church. My children have guided and directed many of the major decisions I have made in my life whether they realize it or not.


Today I was thinking about my husband and the huge part he has played in my life. We truly are best friends.....do we ALWAYS get along....no....but we always love... I see the lives my sisters have led and I wonder without his influence,love and the gospel of Jesus Christ really where would I be today and might I have already died...and so I continue to wonder....where do I go from here?


I continue on and count my blessings every day!


This year my eldest grandson turns 12 and will receive the Aaronic Priesthood......















My second grandson will turn 8 and be baptized into The church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints


















Alan and I will celebrate 34 years of marriage.....








(this is the only pic I could find)













This year Alan will have worked for and we will have lived in the city of Olympia 10 years.



My youngest child will graduate college for the second time....( lol Chelsea)



I have the most beautiful, well behaved , eleven grandchildren of all time!!!!( just a little biased)















So you see my random thoughts of today....oh and by the way I am the world's worst blogger....maybe I should make that my passion....lol
I shall continue to wonder about the future and my lifes mission.....